Journal#3

I'm writing this account of my most recent lesson at Jordan over a week later. I showed up ready and excited to teach the first workshop of my residency, but the excitement slowly vanished as I waited locked outside with students, until a substitute teacher showed up 15 minutes late. I introduced myself, and was asked "Who are you?" and "What is Artsbridge?" I explained and then she told me that was fine, I could give my lesson, she would facilitate. How ironic,I thought to myself, "a good teacher is a good facilitator."
I was told I would have a lot of the same students I taught at the workshop I taught two weeks ago, but all the students were new. It was the first day of classes in their new semester, and as I soon found out about half of them were only taking the class as a requirement and had no desire to dance. When I introduced myself to the class I felt as if I were just talking to myself, they seemed closed and were definitely lacking enthusiasm.I told them "Today we're going to explore rhythm in Hip-Hop music. And asked, "What's rhythm?" They answer, "The beat", "How you move", etc. When I started my warm up, I soon noted I had a few students who didn't yet grasp the concept of rhythm. And we worked on step touch as well as how to count out the beats in the music and respond to those beats with movement. The students got it and soon we all danced in unison.
After about 15 min. of class one of the students from the workshop I taught showed up. She is a very advanced dancer and had some real issues with me teaching at a slower pace for the beginners, at one point she was laying on the floor in the middle of all the other students, because she was so frustrated. I had to ask her to be respectful,and though she got up she continued testing me until the end of class.
As the students were walking out the door, one of the students mentioned something about how another student is pregnant. The substitute overheard, and then scolded the girl and told her she was stupid to go and get pregnant. Another student defended the girl, saying "Hey what's done is done. Leave her alone, she's Latina and in her culture they don't believe in birth control." I felt so uncomfortable, the sub was so rude and out of line to say the things she said. I also felt my body tighten with sorrow, as I looked at the 15 year old girl, who looks like she's 12, who is expecting a baby.
I didn't have a second period class, and had some time so I decided to take a walk around the school. As I walked I realized the school is surrounded by projects, and I saw a young student with her baby. And then the sadness really started to sink in. When I got back to my apartment I sat down and cried. Though my class had gone good, and the students were enthusiastic by the end, I felt so beat up and sad for the reality those students face.
I found myself wondering why the best dancer was testing me and being so awful to me. And as the days pass I have come to understand that really she just wanted my attention. I was not able to write about the class until now, because to be honest it just made me so sad. I have been relfecting and am still reflecting on that day because it was a big slap in the face and though I handled it well, I am currently in the process of growing and learning from that day.